When I started CFT (Compassion Focussed Therapy) I had been referred for my ‘low-mood’ which I had felt was like a separate depression to my schizoaffective disorder. One of the side effects of taking a high dose of anti-psychotics is that I get very tired.
Imagine for a minute, if you’re not on any medication, how it might feel to take two Nytol pills morning and night and you might get how I feel much of the time. It can make it hard to hold down office jobs, socialising tired me out too but imagine the kill joy who goes home at 9pm on a big night out!
The crucial lesson that I learned in therapy was to
- Accept it’s a side effect of my medication and is better than psychosis where I get no sleep at all
- It’s OK to be in bed a lot!
B was a real winner for me. I’m not sure why – hey maybe it’s the neoliberal world of high flying influencers and media peddling the idea that we should have it all. But why was I giving myself a hard time for being asleep so much?
At the time I was earning £1850 a month working the night shift from home at the Mail Online – 7 nights on, then 7 nights off. So I could earn, work and be in bed at the same time.
Today, I still work part-time as a self-employed writer: much from bed. I’ve written my first book… in Bed! And in 2017 I wrote an essay which was published in print and online in The New York Times…. I was in bed under the duvet at my laptop when I wrote it.
to love my bed more than ever and feel lucky to be in it so much!
Three weeks ago I adopted to rescue cats – Caspar and Winter, and they love my bed too.
Isn’t it nice to feel free to enjoy a ‘menage a trois’ on a daily basis and not give myself a hard time about it.
I hope you can feel the same if your meds make you tired.