By Katrina Robinson
I can honestly say fear no longer frightens me the way it did that day many years ago when I realised I had apparently inherited my mother and her family’s tendency to mood disorders.
When you are young and inexperienced you think that having any mental illness guarantees a terrible life. Now I’m much further along in my mental health journey I’ve learnt that was the fear speaking, not reality. I want to encourage anyone feeling that fear.
What has helped? More than one thing. The right medication, a supportive husband, a gentle work discipline, keeping active, my own wish to recover.
Plus simple but true mantras:
‘Depression is a self-limiting illness. It will go.’
‘I’ve been through this before. I can do it again.’
‘Bad feelings change. They disappear and go. If you can hold onto the fact that you feel a tiny bit better at this moment than you did lying awake at 4am this morning then a crucial life-skill is within your grasp.’
With anxiety and panic attacks I’ve learnt not to battle them as this only adds to the tension. Instead I distract myself by doing some little tasks that keep my mind and hands occupied, like sorting out the cutlery drawer which was an idea from a sympathetic GP. The worst of the feelings will have begun to evaporate by the end.
Mantras range from the mundane to the sublime. People talk about faith as though it were a sort of simplistic spiritual splint but actually I find it shows life is nuanced and full of mysterious depths. Anyone with a faith who has suffered has asked, ‘Why does God let me suffer like this?’ The only possible answer has to be, ‘How should I know? Job asked the same question thousands of years ago.’
I recently discovered some mantra-like prayers from the writer Elizabeth Goudge, herself a mental health sufferer and survivor.
Here’s how I think they can help whether you interpret them in a religious way, or more as a response to the mystery of life:
‘God — Love — is a trinity, so here are three prayers of three words each. Short and easy to remember:
| ‘Lord, have mercy.’ | = | Asking for help and being aware it may not come in a form you expect. |
| ‘Thee I adore.’ | = | Recognising that to be alive is ultimately a privilege. |
| ‘Into thy hands.’ | = | Practising a radical acceptance. |
During dark times, if you can hold onto these words in a way that makes sense to you, something changes for the better.
And if ever I feel I am stumbling along a dark, dark tunnel, I remember the prisoner in The Shawshank Redemption who eventually tunnelled his way through what seemed an impossible distance.
His explanation: ‘Time and persistence. That’s all it takes.’
@Part2LoveLife
