By the age of 12, I was helping to care for my mum through bipolar disorder, sitting in medical appointments, managing medication and doing whatever I could to make life a little easier for my family. At the same time, I was carrying the grief of losing my older brother in a fatal car accident, while quietly trying to come to terms with something I was terrified anyone else would discover, that I was gay. Looking back, it’s hard to believe how much I was carrying at such a young age, but when you’re a child you don’t stop to question it, you simply keep going.
Because I spent so much of my childhood worrying about everyone else, I became very good at hiding what I needed myself. Growing up surrounded by casual homophobic language convinced me that being gay was something I should keep hidden, so I tried to make myself smaller and quieter, believing pretending was safer than being myself.
Everything changed when I was 15 and a youth worker told me about a local LGBTQ+ youth group. For two years I attended without telling my family where I was really going because I wasn’t ready for those conversations. Walking through those doors for the first time was terrifying, but it quickly became the one place where I didn’t have to hide. Although it didn’t take away my grief or my caring responsibilities, it gave me something I hadn’t realised I’d lost along the way, and that was hope.
Today, I’m Director of Development and Partnerships at The Proud Trust, one of the UK’s leading LGBTQ+ youth charities. Every day, through youth groups, mentoring, one-to-one support and education, we help thousands of LGBTQ+ young people find the same sense of belonging that changed my life. Seeing young people realise they are accepted exactly as they are reminds me why those safe spaces matter.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that hope often begins with one conversation, one supportive adult or one place where you finally feel safe enough to be yourself. If my younger self could see where I am today, he wouldn’t believe it was possible, and that’s exactly why I wanted to share my story. Whatever you’re carrying right now, your future hasn’t been written yet, and sometimes finding just one place where you truly belong is enough to change the rest of your life.
Liam Swanston is Director of Development & Partnerships at The Proud Trust, one of the UK’s leading LGBTQ+ youth charities. Find out more at www.TheProudTrust.org.
